Day 23: The Road to Baby {Wrap-Up}

Hi everyone!

Well, I’ve definitely been failing at my “daily posts for the month of October” plan lately.  I haven’t felt well the past few days and napping and napping some more has sounded better than writing:)  But, I’m back with a post today to wrap-up the story of how we got pregnant.

If you’ve missed any of my posts, I wrote about our initial struggle to get pregnant, fertility testing and surgery, and finally our IVF decision and process.  I promised a final post sharing lessons learned and final thoughts on the whole process so today I have some bullet points that I hope have come through during this series.  If they haven’t, I’m just going to lay them out today:)

  • Fertility issues are hard.  Whether you are just starting to try, have been trying for a year, or have been trying for many years, everyone who has gone through some sort of difficulty getting pregnant all experience the same feelings in some way.  You feel alone, you worry, you feel desperate, and you just want to get pregnant, darn it!  Don’t ever feel bad for hurting.  People can be insensitive and not understand if they haven’t been through this themselves, so don’t let them in your head or make you feel crazy for feeling the way you do.  If they haven’t been through this, they truly cannot understand.
  • On the other hand, I have a annoyance with people who get overly sensitive and feel sooo sorry for you when they have no idea what you are going through.  I am not a victim, I don’t have a deadly disease, and my life will go on {hopefully with a really happy ending}.  It’s ok to be annoyed with those people too:)
  • How/when/what you share is part of your personal story so keep it private or tell the world-either way is right for you.  We kept our struggle a secret for a long time, but not that we have gone through this, I felt like part of the reason God laid this difficult time on us was to share it with others to possibly help someone else.  I know this may not be part of everyone’s story, so be as private or as public as you want.
  • Stay off the internet!  Besides this blog, of course:)  I know people who have gone through this and sit around for hours reading about fertility problems and diagnose themselves with a million issues, determine that they will never get pregnant, and end up feeling worse about their situation.  For me, talking with Mike and a friend who had been through this previously was the best way for me to get through it.  Mike was in the trenches with me and could understand my feelings and my friend was kind enough to share her story, give me advice on how to stay positive, and warn me of some of the hard parts coming our way.  I didn’t even have a desire to read about all the different scenarios I could go through.  Reality for me was much easier to handle.  Find what works for you and try to stay as positive as possible.  Don’t let others or crazy websites get you down:)
  • It’s perfectly acceptable to want to punch someone in the face if they say, “You are probably just stressed out.  Stop thinking about it and trying and then it will happen!”  By the way, I said it’s ok to want to punch them, not actually punch them:)  A dirty look might be a better way to handle that.
  • You may remember from my first post I talked about finding a hobby or distraction.  This is also a great way to deal with everything.  Get out, enjoy your life, and find things that make you happy to focus on, rather than focusing on the difficulty and struggles.  It helps you forget about what you are going through, even if it is just for a fews days or hours.
  • Use a doctor your trust.  I had three fertility doctors lined up in case the first one didn’t work out:)  Luckily, he sounded like a super genius to me when he talked, gave us good odds, was very straight-forward and honest, and had a ton of experience and a great success rate so we kept him around and I cancelled the other two appointments:)  I now have a special place in my heart for the office we went to and feel very blessed to have had the opportunity to work with the people there.
  • God is great.  I know some people may get down and discouraged and feel like God isn’t there for you, but it’s really the complete opposite.  I spoke with God everyday through this ordeal {sometimes multiple times} and it made me feel better every time. Some days I might have been angry, crying, and upset when I talked to him, but I still prayed.  Some days I was positive and thanked him for putting me through this because one day I knew it would end and I knew he had a greater reason for this.  It doesn’t matter what you say or how you say it, just say it.  He wants to hear your feelings and struggles, just a like a friend or spouse does.  It’s like any great relationship in your life.  If you are mad at that person, you tell them and get it off your chest and you feel better.  If you feel hurt, worried, grateful, you share all those feelings with the person or people you are closest to.  I know not everyone believes in God or has a relationship with God, but I wouldn’t have made it through without Him, during that time or anytime in my life.  I have always prayed daily and still pray everyday, but now it’s to keep this little human inside me safe and growing:)
  • Good things will come to you.  It may this month, it may be in a year, it may be in five years, it may be through a completely different way than you expected.  Have patience and be positive!  Hopefully our happy ending will inspire some of you to stick it out:)


Comments

  1. Angela Jones says:

    You and Mike are certainly a blessing to our family just like little “baby Hyde” will be; a true miracle from God! I am so proud of you for sharing your story as I’m certain it will bring comfort to a lot of people just as you meant it to do! Love you!! Grammy

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  1. […] this baby about how I’m feeling, how the pregnancy has been, etc.  As most of you know, it was a struggle for us to get to this point, having to go through IVF to get pregnant so I think my perspective is a […]

  2. […] just about to make an offer on this land when we met with the fertility specialist and found out we were going to have to go through IVF.  Obviously the land got pushed aside and we went forward with the IVF.  It wouldn’t have […]

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